After I got off the heavy pain drugs, and enough time went by, my brain still did not work very well.

I came back from Thailand, completely surprised at my energy and physical resilience, stunned at how well the trip had gone. I had more health than I ever imagined. But I was having terrible problems with mental confusion. Terror nightmares were waking me up multiple (I mean multiple!) times every (I mean every!) night. I was overwhelmed with anxiety and depression. Other than that, I’m a happy person. This was a problem. My brain wasn’t healing. All those years of pain drugs. All those years of pain. How to clean up that mess?

“Learn a language,” was a suggestion I got to help my brain recover. “Pick a difficult one!”

Dizzy with the enchantments of Asia, I found a community college Japanese class. I thought Japanese would be a much better choice than Chinese, because who wants to learn those Chinese characters? Ugh! Not me!

Dummy (that’s me) didn’t know that hundreds of years ago, Japan adopted the Chinese characters plus added two phonetic alphabets of their own, making it the world’s most difficult writing system. Grrrrr!!!!!!

It is also the world’s wackiest language. The grammar is all backwards. It’s a lot like doing long division in your head. Ouch! Terrible choice! But I do love a challenge. And I hate to give up.

After Japanese 1, I found a teacher I clicked with. He was very funny. He particularly appreciated when we used irony in our example sentences. I love being ironic. He had compassion for the fact that this language is completely impossible for a Westerner to learn. I plowed straight on through to Japanese 4. It was so hard, you don’t know want to know, but it was wonderful, too. Impossible and wonderful, just like life. 

It’s a love-hate relationship with the Japanese language. I’m so proud of myself when I can remember how to draw even half a kanji (Chinese character). It’s so beautifully percussive. I love to listen to it. I love to speak it. The Japanese culture has had tremendous influence on Western art. That fits right in with my life. And the food… yum! I love to eat! But I can only take so much of this language before I get completely discouraged and start to lose my mind. Again, a lot like life.

A question from my J4 Final: 

This summer what will you do?

夏休みは、パリに行て、バスティーユの日に フランスの消防士と踊ることにします。
Literally: Summer break as for, Paris go, Bastille Day on, French fireman with dance decided.
English: This summer, I have decided to go to Paris and dance with a French fireman on Bastille Day.

Aggravating language!

Did I even say that right?

“Why are you going to France?” Sensei said, making a face. “French is a terrible language! The nouns have genders! Impossible!”

🙄

Then new research came out about Ehlers-Danlos. More Asians have Ehlers-Danlos than any other race. How perfect! Maybe if I write in Japanese on my blog, I can make some friends, some bendy people to visit in Japan.

Maybe some Japanese doctor will want to help my people. Maybe someone there will want to try C shots on a very sick person who has a terrible life due to Ehlers-Danlos. No one stateside does.

I’ve never been to Japan. I cannot wait to go. Asia is enchanting.

Watching my persimmon tree grow.

Now, off to Paris!