Why am I alive.
I am not built for this world.
It is too heavy for me.
So are the pressures of my own body on itself.
Maybe I am meant for living in a calm lake of vegetable oil.
Water is too much force on me.
Or a very low gravity planet.
And then I could float away into outer space.
I am so tired.
Too tired to think about anything except my next move, which is that I hope to wash my hair before the day ends. That will take a lot out of me.
I am too tired to care that I can't do anything.
Too tired to read a book.
Too tired to watch TV.
Too tired to have a conversation.
Too tired for friends.
Too tired to care about how much everything hurts.
Too tired to be depressed. That would take more energy than I have got.
That was the old me. Before shots of C. Hee hee.