Let’s Exercise

I had a problem. I needed to be a more effective patient in physical therapy. If I told anyone how much I hurt and what my pain was like, they looked at me in horror and were afraid to give me any exercise. How can I explain what I need without scaring them? How do I help these people help me? I needed to understand anatomy and exercise better.

At Mr. Pennington’s suggestion, I got a fitness trainer certificate.

I absolutely loved my NASM course. If only someone had just taken me through the regimens in this book, that would have been better than ALL the physical therapy I ever got in my life. (sigh) Can’t be in a tizzy about all the poor medical care I’ve gotten. There simply isn’t time.

You know what this book also says? Which modalities are best for strengthening collagen. No one ever talked to me about that in physical therapy, either. Oh well. (sigh) No tizzying! No tizzying!

I train two clients. Mr. Pennington and me.

Kettle bells. The stopping and starting motion strengthens collagen, you get the biggest post exercise fat burn, plus heavy circulation which heals the brain. Magical. I use them all the time.

Because of my certificate, I get access to professional education. Fantastic.

I went up to the TRX headquarters in San Francisco and got into their Sports Medicine course. You know TRX, right? Invented by a Navy Seal. I exercise like a real man.

I learned corrective and rehab exercises.

I had a great time there.

Really nice facility. Classy operation. Great instructor.

I have a gym at home. There are mirrors on the walls, not just because I’m vain, but so I can see what my joints are doing. They tend to wander off. I must exercise with good form. Save wear and tear on my joints. How will I know if I don't look?

In the corner is my inversion table. I use it to stretch my spine and preserve the joint spacing in my hips

Serious one-armed move on my TRX. Twisting moves strengthen specific muscles that wrap and support the spine. TRX is a brilliant device. Whole body moves with instability makes for strength and stability all over.

Mr. Pennington drilled a hook into the rafter.

I exercise mostly everyday. But not for long. You can do a full body routine in 15 or 20 minutes if you know what you are doing. I do. Thank you NASM.

Planks are a big part of my routine. Even, strong and stable, I want to be!

My very own Power Plate. I looked around. What a deal I found. I got a floor model that was on sale at Christmastime. Merry Christmas to me! Vibrating myself to stronger bones, muscles and collagen. I love this thing. This model is a single motor, so it is particularly jarring. Just what I need, really. But it took a lot of work to work up to being able to tolerate it. I'm very proud of how far my collagen has come.

I do ballet on it. I like to pretend that I am French. And also that I can understand Japanese. I strap on weights for my ballet moves. This is Los Angeles. Women do hard-core exericse here. I want to fit in.

Ballet with weights on a vibration platform.

More tricks:

I park my car as far away as I can and load up my bag with unnecessary items for extra workout. I take the stairs if I can find them, too. My body loves to move.

How about that ripped shoulder!

Climbing out of a hydrostatic weighing tub.

Basketball players have such correctly positioned shoulder joints from all those overhead throwing moves. I’m asking for a basketball hoop for my birthday. And for a date with Blake Griffin. We can get ice cream at LudoBird. GO CLIPPERS!!!!!!

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