Meet Fat Tomato

My goldfish swim next to my new iMac. They love the new iMac. I love goldfish for their big personalities. 

This is Fat Tomato. He is an heirloom varietal. No relation to Fat Cat.

Swimming the depths.

Swimming the depths.

His sidekick is Striped Dawg FIsh. No relation to Striped Dawg. Striped Dawg Fish follows Fat Tomato around all day and does whatever he does. Their friendship is real.

Fat Tomato likes to talk to me through the glass. He has a lot to say.

My tank has another resident: a mysterious, yet well-dressed man of mystery.

Meet Plecosty

I love my job!

I love my job!

Plecosty works hard cleaning the tank. He never takes a day off.

Fat Tomato tries to talk to Plecosty. Plecosty is prehistoric and has no time for frivolous goldfish prattle. No matter what Fat Tomato says, Plecosty ignores him.  

Sometimes Fat Tomato noisily flops at the surface to let me know he is ready for dinner, even though he got breakfast and only gets one meal per day. He is so dramatic. Everyone living here is.

Sometimes we all sing along to the plaintive wails of Post Malone’s lullaby of life in the hood Psychoperhaps the best song ever written. My fish say it sounds really good underwater.

And I’m like, woah, my neck’s so goddam cold!! 

Ice pack strapped to neck. Relief!

Ice pack strapped to neck. Relief!

I am working on translating Psycho into English, possibly for an upcoming post, definitely for my own curiosity. I thought if I could learn a bit of Japanese, surely I could interpret this song. The video has nothing to do with the song itself.

This turned out to be a huge project. Mr. Pennington and I have had many arguments over what various lines say and mean. It affords us an opportunity to bond.

Street slang is very funny and clever. Modern poetry at its finest. I think we have it mostly figured out. The sexually explicit lines hidden in the mumbled street slang make it highly unlikely I would actually type a translation of this song. I am a lady, after all.

I will sum up the meaning of the song Psycho for you here.

I got so much money, and you would not believe the problems this causes, especially the women problems. But oh ya, the women problems!!!! It is so tough being so rich, but I am still very humble. Did I mention how much money I have? I got so much money, and all the ladies!!!!

A timeless story to which we all can relate.